#Taztetheztrainbro is a most appropriate slogan for the Zkittlez Hashish by Moonshine Melts. After all, she is a brash, insistent, and LOUD locomotive barreling through the cannabis world. The persistent buzz has been building for a while, but recently it has become an undeniable and deafening roar; and with good reason. Zkittlez has not only won many awards, but she has captured the hearts and tastebuds of all fortunate enough to have tried it.
“We create the funk.”- Brandon, Hashish maker, Moonshine Melts
It is a bold statement, though definitely not without merit. Brandon speaks lovingly of 3rd Gen Family, the tight-knit Mendocino County family known for being a closed circle, keenly focused on making the best medicine possible, and continually redefining measures of quality. In the last 24 months, 3rd Gen Family has amassed an enviable 18 awards.
“Plenty can be friends, but few can be family. We’re brothers.” – Shiloh Massive, Farmer
Not content to rely upon the skills of one member of the family, 3rd Gen Family features several talented growers and concentrate makers. It is the group-minded ethic and the unflinching attention to detail that has made the family so successful. Zkittlez alone has garnered the following accolades:
2014 Emerald Cup 2nd Place (Concentrates)
2014 Emerald Cup 5th Place (Flower grown by Tony Mendocino)
2014 Emerald Cup 6th Place (Flower grown by Brandon)
2014 Seattle High Times Cannabis Cup 2nd Place US Solventless
2013 Emerald Cup 9th Place (Grown by Pineapple of Connoisseur Union)
Keeping the entire operation in-house, the Zkittlez Hashish was originated by the Terp Hogz crew. Organically sun-grown by Papa Greenbear in Spring 2013, this Sativa-dominant strain is an OG x Humboldt Grapefruit cross with more proprietary information not yet revealed. Brandon processed the whole plant fresh frozen. A heavy yielder, the Hashish was very resinous and odorous, and according to him, a joy to create. But considering all of the hype, will it be a joy to smoke?
Before me sits the 45 micron sample. In contemporary style, the Hashish in the jar is loose resin waiting to be pressed. Opening the jar affords me the immediate and unmistakable ambient aroma of gasoline, as well as my first good view of the tiny golden brown nuggets. I am amazed at how the trichome heads glisten like diamonds in the sunlight; individually packaged morsels of psychoactive bliss. Getting closer, continuous whiffs recall bright citrus that comes in waves, like driving through thousands of acres of orange and lemon trees in rural Florida. This exuded aroma harkens cocktails and good times. I pour a small amount of the resin onto parchment paper, and using a Hashish press, smooth the resin into a thin slab of terpy goodness. Her essential aroma is sweet like confectioner’s sugar. Like fine silk, I pick up a small portion of Hashish and gingerly drop it in my perfectly heated Halen Honey Hole. The dab is completely full-melt, bubbling beautifully as the enticing smoke curls seductively into the dab rig. A sinewy and determined lady is on her way and there is not much I can, nor want to, do about it.
With a mid-temperature dab, Zkittlez Hashish reveals herself and she is glorious. Inhaling and then exhaling the Hashish is like water-skiing through gasoline and then throwing a killer aerial while kite-surfing through a bag of tasty, unending rainbows. The flavor of Skittles candy overlays the initial fuel and carries through the end of the smoke. Minutes afterwards, I can still taste the lime and mild acidity that earned the Zkittlez Hashish her name. However, her fanciful moniker belies her very heady high.
A few minutes after the first dab, I feel my spirits lift. I am already feeling pretty good, but, now I am feeling content, and more than a little giddy. A smile is still on my face while I suck at the roof of my mouth, eager for more of that Zkittlez flavor. It is intense, luscious, and everything I need right now. I am tempted to take another dab, just to taste the Hashish more fully, but opt not to. She is already bringing a steadily soaring high and flying too high will prevent me to fully experience her wonders.
I enjoy this present plateau. My limbs have relaxed, but do not feel heavy. My head tilts back and I look at the plain white ceiling with newfound interest. I am lost in thought, but my thoughts are not racing. I pause my thoughts to put on music and sink further into the comfort of my sofa while I laugh to myself about a private, inside joke. I am not couch-locked, but rather supremely satisfied by the plush of the cushions. As stressful as life can be, sometimes a simple moment in pleasurable silence is all that’s necessary. Fifteen minutes later, I am again chuckling about life and allowing the week’s negativity to pass by. I crank up the music and feel the bass throbbing through my body. The vibe is deep and I feel connected to the singer’s every word. I am in a private party in my living room and I am loving it. Besides, another hit is soon in store.
Being Frenchy’s student, I would be remiss if I did not press the resin and let it sit for a while. With this in mind, I had rolled 1 gram of Zkittlez resin into a ball 3 weeks ago. Cleaving into the mass is like pulling apart blond taffy. Hitting with my 3-hole pipe, I find this specimen even more flavorful than the first. The fuel is still intense, but slightly mellowed. The candy flavor coats all of my mouth and travels down to my lungs, dripping syrupy goodness all the way. Breathing out, a distinct, perfumy taste slides by, like the caress of a departing lover, punctuating the experience perfectly. Zkittlez Hashish is mouth-watering opulence with a bite. She is so good, I confidently say the hubbub was definitely warranted. Get on the Z train, man. The next stop is mood-altering awesome, so you had better hang on.
Originally published in Weed World Magazine 116